Life's simple things.....

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Am I a hypocrite?

Vesak day. Holidays!=)

Since mornin plans got cancelled....woke up realli late and practically spent the rest of the day indulging in pensive nonsense...heh

How do i put this down in words? I'll just ramble for now..think it'll end up being incoherent...aft all i might end up deleting this post eventually.

-All our lives we see only the world around us...we are affected by what we can see and touch, but rarely do we see beyond.

-We know what is right, we know what is wrong, we know what we should do, what we shouldnt do.

-We know what makes us a good person, we know what makes us a bad person..we know what to do to make us seem as good people in the eyes of others and vice versa.

-We want to be part of something bigger, we want to be accepted, we want to feel wanted.

The question is...do we do good for the sake of doing good..or do we do good so that we are a good person in the eyes of others? Do we accept others for who they are? or likewise, are we who we are so that we are accepted by others?

We hear of pple going hungry at various places around the world, and feel compelled to do something...yet other than the obvious wastage of food we observe everyday....we also see ourselves and friends going all out to starve and fast just to lose those few inches.

We hear of war, loss of lives, political unrests, nuclear stockpiling, exercises, trainings. Most of us would naturally feel enraged and have some sort of desire to see it stop... but yet we live in a country that glamourises our army, the navy, the air force....with the likes of mrts plastered with "air force: above all!" "Navy: Life tastes better with salt" "Army: the 3rd generation etc etc"

We hear of people dying around the world because of diseases that have been eradicated in some countries...all because they could not get the medicine that are being stored in warehouses of multi billion dollar drug companies.

We hear of floods, landslides, earthquakes and feel sad for them....we glamourise our relief efforts....but what we sometimes don't see is the money we raise for these people sometimes fall short of the price of a luxury car in Singapore....and here we are sitting in our cars complaining about the jams.

The worst thing is as we grow old, we become critical....we read abt some millionaire donating thousands of dollars to a hospital, and instead of acknowledging his donations, we criticise him for such a small donation and comparing it to his recent splurge on his backyard/car/etc.

We are ready to jump onto the side of hippy environmentalists/red cross volunteers crucifying drug companies for being too money minded and refusing to open up their warehouses to the millions dying of diseases when the medicine lies readily available with them. What we don't see is for every single drug that the companies put out on the market, at least 7 years of researh and testings were put into that one drug. Not to mention that for every one drug deemed a success and placed on the market, close to hundreds of drugs had also gone thru the same million dollar process only to be rejected at various stages of testings. All this is not including the pay for the scientists and researchers. Yes, I would pray for the day that those medicine goes out to those who really need them. But at the same time, it'll be one cold day when drug companies choose to be benovalent, because without their profits, they would not be able to fund their research, and have to cut down on their grants and would have to take short cuts in their testings.....you get the picture.

War, armies, etc etc....we've heard this a million times over! When will it stop? not anytime soon i guess....The sad thing about life is....are we willing to take the risk and make ourselves vulnerable to someone else? When we all know that all it takes is just ONE person to bite and we'll never be the same. That's why Singapore has all this deterance...blah blah blah....we're pretty acquainted to this fact huh? after all, this is what we've been learning since we were born. BUT does that mean we live our lives giving up on the hope tt, one day, we can do away with wars and armies? I hope one day....someone is willing to take the chance....the chance to be vulnerable....and i pray that when that day comes, the rest of the world has the strength to not take advantage and the wisdom to lay down everything for peace. This is idealism...but why can't we work towards it?

These are just some of the bigger things in the world....hell, they don't affect me, and most of the times....i don't even notice em. But the interesting thing is, life's little hypocratic tendencies exist in our lives every moment.

We see this asshole lending out a helping hand to a stranger...and we immediately label him as a two-faced hypocrite. We see this rich guy donating a large sum of money to charity, when he's always so calculative abt the smallest of sums with his friends...and we dismiss his act. We see this guy who we hate being nice and our instinctive feeling is to vomit.

Have we ever sat down and talked to someone who stole? or someone who took drugs? They know what they did is wrong, they know the world will see them as the "bad guy", they know that what they did migt have harmed someone else. The world where villians portrayed in the movies is just bullshit. We forget to bring ur wallet or lose your phone for one day and we curse the world for having a bad day, some of these people live everday rejoicing when they find a lost coin. Some of these drug addicts didn't turn to drugs to get high, but turned to it to get away from the down of life.

We grade and categorise. In fact, what was written ain't new stuff...and most of us already know it. But the thing i'm trying to say is...who is to say that the rich and famous can't be having a crappy life, such that they too turn to alcohol and drugs? Who is to say that an asshole to us, can't have a heart of gold when it comes to starving children in kenya? Who is to say that the child of rich parents can't be forced to steal? Who is to say that bad people can't do good out of their own choice? Who is to say someone in a "perfect" situation can't do "bad things"? Who is to say someone with EVERYTHING we want can't be JUST AS desperate as someone else with NOTHING?

Life isn't black and white..life's one big fat screwed up grey....the next time we feel like crucifying someone for the good he has done and deeming him a hypocrite. I hope we think twice. We may not even need to do it verbally, but as long as we harbour those thots within us....we know...and that's enough.

Nobody in this real world wants to be a bad guy....we only choose to be a bad guy when we give up hope that the world will stop seeing us as one...or when desperation drives us to be one.

But even "assholes" have a heart.

I hope we will stop crucifying others for the good they do just cuz they did something wrong or portrayed themselves as such once....because that will stop people from atually doing good for fear of backlash.

Because that will stop pple from trying...

Because am I a hypocrite? Yes, I am.

Once again...some irrelevant ramblings which i felt ill put into words. Somehow there were much more thots...but only managed to put these few down. heh....no real outcomes from all these pensive moments.

5/31/2007 05:01:00 PM

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Almost the end of skl!

Look at the headings of the cards in the middle row.

Top one: "After all we've shared 'I love you' isn't enough"

Second row: "Our love story has no end"

Third row: "Troubled relationship"

Fourth: "New Love"

hurhur....

5/31/2007 01:50:00 PM

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Looong slow start....

Monday was a shitty day with crappy tut(or)s...saw flying cats tho...heh.

Tuesday....ended up talkin cock n catching up with jc frens in clinics..o.O weird seeing friends as patients and having em ask you for advice as a "doctor".

Well, had another bike lesson today aft a loong break. and got my next stamp!=) getting there....just need to find time in between busy days. Shall post random pictures when there's more time.

Good luck for OSCEs tmr!

5/30/2007 12:54:00 AM

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Monday, May 28, 2007

Sinnerman
~Nina Simone~

This one is the remixed version....kinda took the classic tune and sucked it dry by putting it on repeat and adding in more bass....still nice tho.

Original sound track=) Heard this one first....sweet. (not exactly this one..cuz this was live)

5/28/2007 02:21:00 AM

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Sunday, May 27, 2007

Battle of the handwritings....

Don't be distracted by the one with less words...or the one with more words, for tt matter....or crooked lines...or crammed straight rows:P Just compare which one has a nicer handwriting?....heh:P

Anyone with scrubs? till season ten billion?

5/27/2007 11:51:00 PM

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Pretty cool artwork from friday's walk=P

It may look pretty simple...but its not tt easy to draw it....cuz u need to "extend/stretch" the picture while drawing it on the floor. So that when u see it from a certain (only one) point, the picture looks "normal". Apparently, was told tt u need to set up a camera on a tripod to draw these pictures....and the artist looks thru the cam from time to time to make sure he's not drawing it weird=P

http://zarius.com/neato/pavement-art/

5/27/2007 02:11:00 AM

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Happy 21st Liyana!!!=)

Have a wonderful bday and year ahead=) hope u had a nice bday!

5/27/2007 12:57:00 AM

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Saturday, May 26, 2007

Friday..

IPPT, floorball, and walking....

Still deciding if it was an ok day..soo many random things tt happened. hmmm.

Look After You
~The Fray~

Really nice song....

5/26/2007 07:16:00 PM

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Friday, May 25, 2007

Mind Cafe=)

Little meet-ups in NUH during the day....we also visited the paeds playground..=P

After which, the bunch of us finally met up as a group today=) nice moments of retarded fun=)

And the China trip is on! =) Thank goodness for my small CG=) heh...yansheng and lynette are good mates=) keep my days super interesting and entertaining=)

and i had a call from warrant sara....giving me my safety briefing...

"Please sleep for 7 hours tonight, no late night partying, no alcohol.

and any illness?.....etc etc.....Otherwise, please be at training shed xxx by 730 tmr morning for your IPPT!!!"

crap its, 145 am now..sigh...good night! well, no incentives or anything..so i guess ill just take it as a morning jog...and not kill myself. heh.

5/25/2007 12:28:00 AM

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Thursday, May 24, 2007

Carousel

REALLY good food=)

5/24/2007 01:16:00 AM

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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Random photos from the last 2 days

Last tango lesson

Mr bean=P

AND...Blades of Glory is damn funny! do catch it if u can....heh

5/23/2007 01:40:00 AM

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Monday, May 21, 2007

Jiu Zhai Gou!

Decided to do some research on china....esp since we're plannin to go there soon....the pictures on the websites are REALLY nice=)

Listened to this after a loong time...cuz my shiffle function somehow skips it...til tonight. nice=).

(Scrubs is retarded...heh....but it makes me think!?

Anw...I want my hot and smoking girl who gets stuck in the mri machine too=P; who makes me wanna keep trying; who still comes back to me when i screw up....but she shldnt be a drug addict. heh.)

5/21/2007 02:20:00 AM

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Sunday, May 20, 2007

MUNUS....

a short escape to KL=)

No photos of sat evening..cuz i dint bring my cam out. shall try koping from others. esp super nice pics of the petronas twin towers etc etc..

5/20/2007 11:32:00 PM

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Friday, May 18, 2007

My train buddy...from a looooong time ago=P

A nice catch up=) Good evening, good wine and good company....at the wine company. Hurhur. INTERESTING stories shared=)

And guess who i met there? Chethan! This time..he was our waiter=P heh. He actually knows his wine!

Anw, going malaysia tmr! haven't packed! havent rested enough! and havent found my passport!=S Oh, and next is not tt good, cool effects but i wont recommend it. Think we shld have stuck to blades of glory!=P

5/18/2007 01:20:00 AM

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Thursday, May 17, 2007

Happy 21st Yingheng!=)

Here are some fotos of the small gathering at Timbre=)

The band playing that night was pretty good actually=) maybe tts why the owner actually allowed em to replace EIC tt night.

Anw Happy Birthday bro! have a wonderful year ahead...it's been one realli great friendship and an honor knowing u for so long=)

Anw, gtg sleep now.....need to wake up early again tmr=S

5/17/2007 01:05:00 AM

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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

A loooong day....half of which was spent waiting.

Some random stuff lynette made us draw while waiting today..=P

I know that doctors are busy, but seriously, i think even if ur the dean or M.D. House himself, the very least u cld do is to offer (some basic form of) apologies for making a class of students wait half an hour for you. And tt was AFTER you already RESCHEDULED your lecture TWICE in the SAME day, and NOT INFORMING us of either, until one of us had to CALL the ortho department each time. In all we waited from 1045 to abt 1230 due to last min reschedulings...only to have it rescheduled to 130pm....and THEN aft RUSHING back from lunch, HE happily strolls in at 2pm....WITH NO FREAKING APOLOGY OR EXPLANATION! wad a #..........# attitude. Seriously, it's not like we were angry at the fact tt he was saving lives or anything, but he realli just assumed tt we were year 2 students and tt he's the almighty TEACHER who's time is better spent SAVING LIVES! He totally behaved as though he being there is alrdy our blessing.

Honestly, all he needed was "sorry, but my hand was in some patient's heart (or some random reason) tts why i was late" and we'll all go..."ooooh..it's ok" and the world can continue revolving around him.

He practically droned on and on....just reading off the slides...and didnt even bother when we told him tt we had ward rounds to go to. He just brushed it off and behaved as though he cldnt care less tt we were going to be late cuz of his OVERSPILLING lesson.

No wonder so many of us also cldnt be bothered with him..most of us fell asleep..and some cgs just got up and left for their ward rounds (after informing him of course).

Well, the evening ended pretty ok...made jelly at lynette's house and had interesting sessions of talk-cock sessions thruout the day=)

Biking lessons are getting along fine=) one more stamp collected today..heh.

5/16/2007 12:53:00 AM

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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Doll Face...

"The never ending pursuit of "perfection" in the eyes of others will destroy us one day."

5/15/2007 01:06:00 AM

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Sunday, May 13, 2007

Happy Mother's Day=)=)

Ate at some cool restaurant called Bosses restaurant. In chinese, it was called hei she hui....heh...aka...black society. The interior design was really nice=)

menus that had their own special compartments

special heating elements built into the table..

5/13/2007 08:07:00 PM

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Happy Birthday HUILIN=)

It was one really really beautiful birthday. Really saw that you and ur family put in sooo much effort to make it perfect. Thank you so much for inviting us to your birthday=)

Happy Birthday to you! Do rest well=) you realli realli must have tired yourself out aft today. Thank you and have a great birthday!=)

And Happy Birthday to Qiuyun too! Sooo sorry for not being able to make it to ur party. Thank you so much for ur invite=S don't think ull be readin this but yeah, happy birthday. maybe ill bump into u while ur back here in singapore=)

5/13/2007 02:39:00 AM

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Happy Birthday Lian Kiat!

sorry for leaving early! anyway, Happy Birthday and may all ur wishes come true! have a wonderful 21st and here's to many many years of frienship and "work-ship"......haha=P

5/13/2007 02:27:00 AM

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Friday, May 11, 2007

TGIF!!!

Another week has passed=) Suturing being one of the FEW things i learnt tt will actually stick in my mind=P

Floorball was good..but somehow the feeling is different without the teachers around. Bought sumthg for mother's day=) But quite expensive=S

5/11/2007 11:58:00 PM

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Thursday, May 10, 2007

Tango=)

Well, some random shots of the tango lesson....using my hp.

Anyway, to all singnet users, either blogger has some coding that is not compatible with Singapore's SINGNET only, or Singnet has something against pple posting on blogger....whatever it is, there's a solution to the problem....whichever page you want to go to..for example, the "create post" page, just retype "www2.etcetc" instead of "www.etcetc"the page will relaod in the correct manner and u can post, add image etc. In other words...click on the links...and when the screwed up page has loaded, edit the url manually by adding the "2"and everything will load properly once again=)

5/10/2007 11:41:00 PM

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Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Tuesday...

5/09/2007 11:45:00 PM

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Monday, May 07, 2007

Happy Birthday Lijia!=)

After which, it was onto ikea, concourse, army market and plaza sing to run som errands.

Its only monday..and im super tired!

5/07/2007 09:37:00 PM

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Sunday, May 06, 2007

Old Tango Photo...

Floorball is gettin better and more fun=) tho i seriously feel very inapt in slow dribbling and holding onto the ball.

Sundays always seem to pass me by...more cuz i can never ever get pass the inertia to study or do anything useful on sundays. So i always spend the whole day just lazing around. Floorball ended with me speeding round singapore and doing stuff which shldnt be written on the www. heh. Did some stuff in the afternoon and slept(=D)..woke up and went for mass. Nice sermons-Others will know Me by your love for them.

I realised tt i'm quite a night person (wow....revalation!). Sometimes we just go abt our lives doing what needs to be done. This happens for me during the day....but at night, i tend to end up being weirdly pensive and thinkin weird thots. Happened to find my JC sketch book. Came across interesting sketches, long poems tt struck a chord, and quotes tt remind me of moments in my life which led to those scribbles/doodles/phrases.

Are u alive or just living? Do you know what you're living for? For love? (well, i guess that works for some?...heh) everybody has weird existentialist moments...mine's like a prolonged pause button at night..which causes me to sleep at like 3++ am plus everyday!=S do u wonder if theres a purpose? can one person make a change? All of us have a choice...do we realise this choice to change, to make an impact, to have a say? Somehow most of us dont even recognise this choice to take control of our live's every moment.

We are here leading our lives every moment....living it, some of us think of our choices as simple. For instance, we are in medicine now, so for most the only obvious choice staring in our face wld be to excel or not to excel? theres nothing wrong in wanting to excel, its great in fact! but at the expense of every waking moment of ur life just for tt one aspect of life's excellence? or at the expense of ur happiness when u lead yourself to percieve that u have failed in ur pursuit of excellence? (i wake up every morning and piss excellence...ok..tts random..haha..inside joke=P) Have we explored other stuff? a meaning to life? to put a smile on others? To try change how others percieve the world? To actually see if its possible to make an impact on those around us..and the world? To see if someone else can not go sad/hungry? Ever tried changing the system? See if there's more to just status quo?

What abt learning something new? fufilling our lives and potential? Pursuing dreams?

Ever wonder how each of us might be so absorbed in our own lives? that we let every small thing affect our moods? how we get angry at random meaningless stuff? how we think the world is out to get us..and how sometimes the world is just crappy for us?

Its like we live in a world where everyone is so absorbed with themselves...we dont truly *truly* feel the pain and see thru the eyes of others. Because if we do....we wld realise tt we are lucky, that there is always someone out there who is hiding his/her pain. Someone who we can actually reach out if we only choose to see it. Do we know how it is to have someone help you? we sometimes underestimate how much we can do for others.

I believe tt one can make a difference...heh.

"Life is insignificant without contribution, and contribution is meaningless without sacrifice"
"If you're feeling poor, try giving a coin to someone who really needs it"----seriously, you shld try this one day...as in maybe give ur last dollar to an old lady selling tissue paper. You'll feel crappy for awhile and wonder why u did it...heh..but its a weird feeling if u reflect abt it.

I seriously think theres not enuf time....ive yet to see the world, ive yet to experience everything....and i wont accept that status quo is enough. I want to be inspired!=P I dont want to be stuck or sucked into this rat race where everybody tries to make the bulb brighter or make the wheel turn faster.

Let's teleport! Lets learn telepathy! Let's find time travellers! Let's feel the worldwide excitement, once more, of scientists coming up with WOW inventions...like the lightbulb! electricity! telephones! Flight! And not making pentium 2 billion...or breaking speed barriers?

Medicine is all abt prolonging the game, but death *always* wins....all we do is just add a few more minutes to the game, or letting them have a few more moments of comfort. Ultimately, we have to learn to pick our battles.

Because there isnt really a point to prolong our lives when we end up not living at all.

I think mankind is too caught up in adding more minutes to the game.....instead of playing a beautiful game.

Maybe we cld change how the game is played so that everyone can join in and have fun!=)

5/06/2007 11:55:00 PM

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Saturday, May 05, 2007

Friday!! It's the weekend=)

Guess who??

After a one week interruption....this week's floorball is a nice welcome once again. especially with newcomers joining the group=)

After which i had to rush off for dinner with my sis' bf...tho my sis is still in australia...o.O....heh. Hello e-zhe....i know ur readin this=P

and meet my sister and nephew! ill be his ONLY uncle=)

5/05/2007 12:28:00 AM

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Thursday, May 03, 2007

For all old friends=P

Here's some super old videos that i happened to come across....=)=)=)

The bored and super retarded pple of RJ Track and Field...haha

Farewell video

RJC video

RI 02

Our orientation "MTV" for the juniors=)

Super out of point..but super funny la

5/03/2007 09:46:00 PM

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Argentinian Tango....

Wow...it's close. heh.

Anyway, it was realli inspiring watching quanyao's bro and his argentinian partner glide across the floor in perfect unison.....and she had her eyes closed all the while. Photo from quanyao soon?

AND RESULTS ARE OUT TMR!!!!!! OMG!!!! GOOD LUCK EVERYBODY!

5/03/2007 01:03:00 AM

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Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Mad World
~Micheal Andrews

Ode to Family
~The Cranberries

Animal Instinct
~The Cranberries

Was listening to old songs....heh.....that and sleeping the day away after watching spiderman.

HAPPY LABOUR DAY EVERYBODY! Hope all of you are having a nice restful day=) take care....it's back to skl/hospitals tmr again.

5/01/2007 09:50:00 PM

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEFFREY!!

A fantastic Birthday bash...held at Cafe Del Mar.......

Which ended in me carjacking my own !#%&*^% car. And i thought hacking back into my own email account in secondary skl (aft it was hacked into and had its password changed) was retarded...this definitely tops it. I shall leave this to the end of the post.....

Well, meet my car...anyway, after being pushed into the sea together with the bday boy....i somehow forgot to empty my keys from my board shorts (altho i remembered everything else, like my hp, wallet and camera..) So in short...the alarm control got totally fused. And i cld not disarm my car in any way=S

Spent close to an hour plus trying to fix the alarm control. after which........it was this....

Finally decided that the best thing for me to do was to carjack my own damn car...and disarm the alarm manually.

Here are some videos which we decided to take for memory sake.

First try....false alarm---didnt even manage to get the door open!?!

Second try---we got the doors open and were well under way.

Well, everything worked out=) all within 20+ seconds...and we were on our way home.

Spent a pretty long while at home fixing my car after tt=P

Most imptly......SO SO SORRY TO THOSE WHO HAD TO WAIT. MY SINCERE APOLOGIES AND DEEPEST GRATITUDE!

5/01/2007 02:00:00 AM

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